bunny tales

The Discriminist!

I am an arrogant racist classist pig! There, I got it out of my system. I know it is an embarrassment and a possible disappointment to my professors and mentors. Even I would give myself a good spanking.

This would be my second emotional outburst (if I can put it that way) I had in current job. I am thankful for every opportunity to learn and meet people, but I am very afraid that I have become evil being moved by the culture of corporate world.

Maybe I am just used to being exposed to a generally better off race and class of people. I was dealing with the placement of Japanese speaking and Korean Speaking candidates, in which the Japanese-speaking candidates are all graduates of local and Japanese universities, and the latter are mostly Korean natives. The candidates I dealt with (although a small fragment are a little lost and less impressive than others) are generally smart and skillful in their own way.

Although the use of English language during my interviews plays a role in my impression of the candidate, I would still say that my opinion of a candidate generally rests in their personality and attitude shown during our hour's meeting.

(OK, I admit that bearing an opinion about someone based on their language skills place me at the shallow place, but due to my job, English IS the main language where my clients interview and communicate with the candidates. Even if they do not speak the Queen's English or Classical Japanese, if their job requires that of them, having just good qualities and personality might not be sufficient.)

Generally, an educated person will be someone who is able to communicate themselves (in whatever form) showing their sincerity and interest to (in my job example) the job they are applying for. Even if they do not speak a language beautifully, actions such as being punctual, friendly, professional, well groomed and neatly dressed do tend to reflect the whole image (inside and out) of a person. The willingness to cooperate, learn, be humble, inquisitive can be reflected on the outside in forms of presentation, action, and speech. Maybe I am just asking too much.

Here comes my problem, I have been handling foreign language speaking positions of late and they include Thai, Indonesian, and Vietnamese speaking. Although it is not towards the majority of these candidates, but I do admit that I find it challenging to handle a small fraction of their cases. As a local who speak the mentioned language, they should be fluent to handle the job. As a foreigner on the other hand, looking for a job in a country apart from home means that what you offer should be at least compatible or more than what the locals of the host country can. Therefore, not only they should be fluent in their mother tongue (that should be natural) but having strengths in the lingua franca is important. This applies to their skills to. It is my ideal to be able to assist every candidate I encounter. However, it is not easy at all when there is nothing about the candidate that stands out or recommendable. All I can do is to deliberate with myself on searching for the good points that may interest the clients and try to give some suggestions to the candidate for better chances at interviews.

But who am I to say what works and what should be done? I want to be able to place as many candidates as possible, hoping that they would find the best job, develop and soar with achievements. However, I have a job to do where I have to ensure that my clients are satisfied and the honor of my company is not jeopardized. The reason why companies use recruitment agencies is because they do not want to waste their time and resources on candidates who are nothing close to what they have in mind. They are paying us to weed out the unsuitable and pre-screen the candidates before they interview them. We are paid to provide suitable and quality candidates. That is business.

Thus my mind and heart are tearing apart as I fret on what I should do. Staring at the forms and at our system, I really do not know on how to comment these candidates that will be used as references for consultants including myself to get a picture of the candidates in order to recommend them to our clients. Doing my job for now means that I have to be a nasty and mean person in the eyes of others, being discriminative and even arrogant... well, I would just have to be that pain in the neck.

Please, if any of you have any suggestions on what I should treat the situation, kindly advice. There is just so much I do not know.

Saying Farewell to 中新井さん

Out of habit I would often look to my left towards where Nakaarai-san used to sit. Somehow he is always entertaining by the way he is handling his paper work, speaking in Bahasa over the phone, staring at the computer or making interesting statements in the languages he knows and picked up in Malaysia.

Now, it is just an empty seat, a void, and silence.

I was reading Susan's blog and could not agree more to what a great boss/superior Nakaarai-san was to us. We see him as one of the most patient man about, never losing his calm or temper. Although goofy and hard to get at times, he is still always on the look out for us. He is the one we turn to for checking our Japanese, or dealing with difficult clients. What I miss the most is the client visitations we go together. The ride was always engaging and there is always time for a drink before or after.

Nakaarai-san was a good listener and a mentor. When I was over burdened with the workload I had, he would personally help me out by following up with the projects I had, calling the persons-in-charge, and re-delegating my work. I have learned a lot about the working life from him and about adaptation to working overseas. We hung out a few times for lunch where we discussed about work and the best approach to it.

But changes come and I wish him the best in his future endeavors.

"You will be missed Nakaarai-san. You will be."

Lazy Bunny Bum

Lazy and distracted is how I feel of late. I think the procrastinating bug has bitten me hard. I see myself sitting at my workstation everyday NOT doing the pile of work I have before me. Thoughts of traveling, meeting up with loved ones, and furniture have been occupying my mind.

Well, being distracted from work means that I can blog again (cheeky smiles). If my efficiency at work is measured solely on my sales, I can afford to bum around till July. However, there is still the need for close follow up since I am dealing generally with foreign language placements these days and the recruitment of native Koreans are tedious with their visa applications.

Nevertheless, I have been spacing out most of the time with my new favorite game of Scribbles. Check it out! (http://www.miniclip.com/games/scribble/en)

I have also been busy uploading pictures on to my Friendster profile and started of with Picasa that links me with my Google account. So, loads more of new pictures to share. I hope you enjoy them. You will get to see me as I am of very recent dates. Go easy on the comments, ok? I know I am not looking my best.

So, till next time, happy picture viewing!

http://picasaweb.google.com/foosuemae

Celebrating Pastor Tony's Birthday

I was reminded lately how emotional I can get at times. I was pretty "emo" the as I prepared myself to attend the surprise birthday party held at Hon Yau's place last week. ("Emo" a term coined by a friend and is often used by him and my sister to refer to those or situations where emotions flare and the occurrence of the "touchy-feely" and "weepy" situations.)

Back to the blog...

Last Friday, I was asked to give a short speech at Pastor Tony's 50th Birthday Bash. Somehow, I was compelled to write out my speech this time. (Well, many of you out there know that I hardly write things down when asked to speak. They just come out of my head and heart, and jump straight out of my mouth.) Maybe I was reminded sub-consciously after my talk with Matthew over the phone on Wednesday and a joke Hon Yau made on Thursday.

Anyways...

I have been thinking of what to say to and about this pastor of mine who I have known since I stepped into the doors of Emmanuel EFC. He has been there for me all these while, helping me grow in faith, listening to my rantings as a teenager, personally baptizing my family and I, and sending me on my way to TCU. I was thinking about it all Friday and finally started to write it out on my mobile phone as I waited for mom to pick me up after work.

As I was "writing," I was overwhelmed by the feeling of love, care and concern that tears welled-up and kept flowing. Mom asked me whether I caught a cold and I said "No." It took me sometime to compose my thoughts and finish the speech. I was glad that I did take the time to write it out for I would be a mess of snot and tears in front of a large crowd of guest unprepared.

Keeping my speech simple, short, and sweet (as much as possible), I wished Pastor Tony the happiest of birthdays and thanking him for everything he has done for me.

"Everyone enjoys birthdays. They are celebrated with cakes and candles, gifts and parties. All of these bring joy and makes the star of the day feel special and loved. As I grow, my attitude towards celebrating birthdays has changed. Birthdays are much more than well wishes, picking out the right gift, or even finding time to attend the event or function.

Today, I celebrate Pastor Tony's birthday thinking God for his existence in my life, my family's and those who have been touched by him.

I started attending Emmanuel about 10 years ago (not too long after the Lim's moved to serve Emmanuel) and Pastor Tony's sharing at YA (Youth Alive) and church are always mind engaging. I enjoy every talk and time spent at the Lim's for College Care Group on Fridays. All these meetings and discussions were and still are blessings to me.

My adolescent years were not a smooth ride, but having a pastor who truly cared made a whole lot of a difference. I always wondered what it was that made him to take sincere interest in me. I found out that it was reflection of my faith through Pastor Tony and his ministry that made me grow stronger in my faith. I found an adult who is not only wise and authoritative, but understanding and patient as well. He was one I could trust and be myself with no need to have a mask to hide behind. He always has time to listen when I needed counsel.

He played important roles in the most significant times of my life--my baptism, going through the rough patches in my relationship with mom, and growing out of my teenage years as a child of a broken family. However, I thank God for him most when he gave me the opportunity to study in the country I love, allowing my mind and passion to develop, and exposing me to limitless grace. A brochure to TCU he passed to me the day I was worrying about my future as a law student changed my life. I dare say, that even today, Pastor Tony knows what my passion and desires are, that even my family does not know or understand. He is always encouraging and supportive with his prayers and advice.

I thank God for Pastor Tony, the opportunity that our paths crossed, and the blessings that flowed.

I thank God for the chance to know Aunt Teresa, Lukas and Tabbitha, where witty conversations and wonderful memories were made.

You are not just my pastor, my counsel, but also like a father, and a trusted friend.

HAPPY 50th BIRTHDAY, Pastor Tony."

 

Coming back from the silence

There is a little voice calling out to me every now and then reminding that it has been a while since I last blogged. It has been echoed and amplified by a few close friends of late. They are wondering what has this bunny been up to with caring overtones. (Aww... how sweet. Many hugs!)

Since the last I wrote, in a nutshell, I have been busy with WORK. Yup... plain simple daily work. This actually got me thinking again about what matters most to me... what is the meaning of life? What defines success?

Many often get me wrong when I tell them that I would like to further my studies.

"Hey Suemae, haven't you studies enough already?"

"Time to work and move on with life!"

"Don't be a 'fraidy-cat. Move out of your life and mentality of a student and take on the real world!"

I personally think that work is what one does in order to survive. Choosing the right job ensures passion and zest for one's occupation. There will be drives and positive strives to do better. This will bring about the right attitude and professionalism one gives in their job. Looking at the big picture, the working world would be a better place if all of us have the right attitude towards work.

Working, like other passages of life is an experience itself. Not only one is groomed to take on a task, he or she will be exposed to the true nature of other human beings in the big rat race. The people I met and the situations I encountered taught me much. There are many questions to the validity of my work and at times work can be defined as "handling crap." There is just so much crap out there, people tend do give you more of it, and all day long your task is just to straighten it out.

Well, it is not all that bad. I have stepped into the working world for almost 8 months now. There were good days and I have also seen the bad ones. It is a learning curve and I am glad to let you know that I am surviving and actually, doing better than I thought. Last month was rather fruitful and this month it is not too bad either.

My dream and passion lies in the education field and thus I long to be back in the academic setting of learning and intellectual exchange. My worries are that I might get sucked up in this rat race, turning me far away from the person I am and hope to be. Not willing to turn away from difficulties and challenges, I will strive hard regardless whether I like the task at hand. However, once I get the hang of it, I think it is a blessing that I am good at what I do. Then it is the pride and ego that kicks in. That will pull me to the dark side and lead me to wander off, straying away from what I really want to do.

Dear friends, I really would appreciate your support and prayer. In the days when I am lost and starting to lose confidence in my talents, I implore you to slap some sense into me and help me get back on track.

"Help me, O God. Give me peace and a quiet heart to hear Your word that I might follow in obedience, for You truly know what are my desires. May Your will be done, that my daily walk will be a worship pleasing to you, and Your Name and Kingdom be glorified. Amen."