bunny tales

A trip to the doctors

Something I bet you don’t know. I am an iatrophophic and a dentophobic. Well, simply put, I have this strange fear of visiting the doctors and dentists. Apart from my annual medical check-up at TCU around April. I hardly remember stepping into a clinic for my own treatment. I still remember the only time I was at the doctors was when Rajiv dragged me to a surgery clinic to check out this lump that was growing on my right wrist 2 years back.

Today, my nose was hypersensitive than usual causing me to be a ball of sneezes and mucus. I was sneezing way more than normal and it started to give me a terrible headache. Not being able to continue with work, relating my pain, my superiors strongly suggested that I go see a doctor across the street.

That weird feeling came over me as I dragged myself there. Well, there was nothing much to it actually. After a diagnosis and a prescription for a few pills and a nasal spray, I got back to work. However, I was surprised that my medical fee rang up to a total of 85 bucks!!! Wow! What a pocket burner! I have filed the billings to my company. Hopefully they will reimburse me.

Although chokingly expensive, I am not sneezing anymore now. Cool!

Reminiscing

The scars are almost gone now. Looking at my right index and pinky, it was just 3 weeks ago that I was having tonnes of fun hanging out with Matthew and Sunil. Thursday, February 1 was the night we went for karaoke at the entertainment center near CNT station. We got Matthias to come along with us as these ARE the people you should go karaoke-ing with. After a day in the Tokyo and Ginza area, we sang for 3 hours with free flow of drinks from the drink and got myself a little buzzed and tipsy with いちご. After karaoke, we spent some time at the game center taking プリクラ and played some 太鼓. It was by having a firm grip on the drumsticks that scraped skin off the fingers I had my rings on. From deep red marks soon after, the skin came of with minimal bleeding and left 2 horizontal marks on my fingers for the past few weeks.

I still remember the songs we sang and the conversations we had. Spending time in Japan helped me realize that I have been straying from my initial plans and got myself sucked into something I am not ready to handle. It is time to pull up my socks to go for the things I set out myself to do. Coming back home is a challenge. The lectures I hear each morning is very much de-motivating and I am made aware that due to the environmental and culture change, people just assume a character for me without even trying to get to know me. Why is it that people always seek for convenience and freeze you in a specific time and space? Are they not aware that there is something more to their assumptions and preconceptions? Do they even bother to find out? Or give me a chance to speak my mind?

Advice and wisdom is appreciated, but I would honor and respect a persons attempt to understand the situation first. Irrelevant talk to me is just a waste of time. A conversation needs two-way communication of expressing, listening and understanding. I do miss the wonderful time spent in Japan, not just the trip, but my life there when people do take me as a person (in the Martin Buber sense) and real conversations were held.

Be My Valentine

Valentines Day is a day where red and pink hearts rule, chocolates and roses are sold at ridiculous prices, and sappy love songs fill the air.

I JUST DON’T GET IT!!! The day has been commercialized into a day for couples and lovers which got me thinking, is this the only day such people are able to express love? In other countries and cultures I know of, V-day is a day where the expression of love is not limited to the couples-in-love but it is a day to appreciate the people who we love. It is the celebration of love where hearts and chocolates are exchanged to let people you love and care about how much you love them. This act is shared among teacher and students, family members, the bus driver, friends, etc. I give my heart and Valentine out to all those who I truly care for they are special to me.

Since I didn’t have any plans this year, Su-Anne invited me out to hang out with her girl friends at MidValley and I extended the invitation to Susan. I guess it would be fair to summarize that the night was a disaster. Parking was limited, the restaurant we wanted to go to decided to milk all of their customers by charging per head at RM45, we changed to a Chinese restaurant which the service sucked due to the amount of customers… and that almost got us late for our movie. We watched the movie that we could get tickets for (well, Su-Anne wanted to watch it too) but well… “Epic Movie” is not my kind of movie genre. We were stuck in the parking lot for a long time trying to leave the mall and there were mean drivers on the road… yup, Valentine’s in its commercial worth totally sucked!

However, the true meaning of V-day started earlier for me when I made special V-day cards for my favorite boys. I also spend a good deal of time reminiscing the special guys and relationships that I was blessed with all these years. I received a Valentine greeting a few days ago from a good friend. He reminded me through my favorite Bible verse “Now these remain—faith, hope, love; but the greatest of these is love” 1 Corinthians 13:13.

Walking down memory lane and looking into the future, I truly believe the command to love God and the sum of His creation, not in the sappy and emotional way, but through the commitment to ensure their happiness and well-being. Thus, allow me to extend my warmest Valentine greetings to all of you out there, anyone who has given me even a minute’s thought, you are indeed special to me in your very own way and I am honored to call you friend, a loved one. Thank you for your love to me. I give you my love, hugs, and kisses wherever you are.

Now, I sit at my work desk looking at pictures that are on pin up at my workstation, my computer, website, Cliė, cell phone, and wallet of the special someone as I write. This is one fellow who brings me smiles, perks me up and gives me energy to go on…

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! 

The Ideal Partner

In any conversation—regardless with close friends or strangers—the issue of having a boyfriend will come into the picture. Being Suemae, I will give them a straight answer on my status and if asked, the details too.

Are people that lonely? Or do they just fancy a good love story? I think it is important that man and woman should be united and there is a need for the other half, however, I try my best not to put too much of my time and thoughts on the popular notion of dating and love.

We all have an ideal partner. That tingly feeling you get inside might be some chemical reaction of the hormones, but I would say that the person who you “fall in love” with is highly due to the feeling of familiarity they strike in you. Taking Freud stand, a boy is attracted to his mom (being the only woman he is in contact with at that time) and would find a girl who displays qualities of his loving mother. The more persons of the opposite sex the person encounters through life, more qualities will be added on in his or her search for her ideal partner. Somehow, the person you choose would carry attributes and characteristics of someone you are close or familiar with.

There is the possibility where we tend to choose someone who is totally opposite from the people we know. Well, this is because there are some unfortunate souls who have many bad encounters with people of the opposite sex. OR humans are also easily attracted to something new and out of the ordinary. Not to forget, the media do play a large influence in what is being potrayed to us as the ideal, in the popular sense (looks, weealth, prestige...). But anyhow, we still base our selections for partners or even friends, on the basis of such familiarity. Our ideal partner will be the one who presents the most and best attributes of those we have encountered in life—great sense of humor, caring, kind, out-going, someone who can cook, etc.

So, if this theory really does support itself, I reckon that it is the same reason why my choice in guys are very… exquisite, thanks to all my guy friends I have known since I started walking. At least, I know for sure what kind of a guy I would like to have a relationship with that lasts through courtship, marriage and forever.

Technically, everyone has the potential to be the ideal partner for someone. However, what matters is whether he or she is aware of that potential, and whether he or she is willing to work towards that. It is the process of maturing and finding their identity—a process of sharpening all their skills and talents, as well as polishing their character and personality. I will not hound on my best pals hoping that they will be “THE ONE” for me, but I dare say that they all have the potential to be the best boyfriends, husbands, and fathers of children to someone, and maybe, me. I will just leave them to discover their potential and when the right time comes, I might just fall for my best buddies!

I am not a person who conforms and compromise. I know what I look for in my ideal partner but I still would give a chance to anyone who is willing to try. It would be great to embark on a journey to discover all the potentials we have together. Nonetheless, as much as I do respect and love each person I meet, I would not waste my time prying every guy or throwing myself out hoping by trail and error to get the one. Desperate I may seem at times, but I do not have that kind of time and effort to waste.

At the mean time, I choose not to preoccupy my time in longing for some guy to sweep me off my feet. All I know for sure is that I should be prepared to woo the heart of the guy who knows what he wants in a woman.

Tears for "In Her Shoes"

“Busy” is the word that describes me best. Ever since high-school, I remember friends teasing me that an appointment should be set up if they wish to hang out with this woman. I guess that never changed. Even though I hardly feel that I have limited time, but it always seems that I am whisking off to get something done and I am always on the move. Hah! That’s me, all right.

Nonetheless, maybe I can cut myself some slack this Monday morning. I really am not in the mood for work. I guess I will definitely milk the excuse that I can’t work because I can’t see. I reckon I left my glasses in my room.

My weekend was something out of the ordinary. I guess I am getting my groove back being able to relate to the weekends I have at TCU. I slept in Saturday morning and only got up when Uncle Eric came to collect some tables for the Youth Thanksgiving Dinner that will be held in the evening. After taking my shower, I got down to do my pile of laundry and started clearing up my stuff that were left lying around my rooms since I got back from Japan. Su-Anne came pick me up and we went shopping with Dad, Step-mom and Ron and I was reaffirmed that it is madness to live in Kuala Lumpur. Not having breakfast and lunch, I felt like snacking before dinner. I bought myself some pork-jerky—which is a must have during the Chinese New Year—and almost spewed blood when the register rang up RM7.30 for a piece. For 730 yen, I could have Carbonara Spaghetti and a drink bar at Gusto! Nonetheless, my complaints didn’t last long as it was my favorite snack and I shared the piece with Ron and Su-Anne who love it too. It was a good day shopping and we had dinner together too. Hmm, to think about it, I think I will be spending my first Chinese New Year back home since 2002!

Sunday was as usual. Being late for church is a ritual for me in Malaysia. I am still amazed with my punctuality and keenest to travel on the train for 1 1/2 hours to church in Tokyo. I guess it has always been taken for granted that since church is just 20 minutes away by car that I am always late back home. I collected the clothes in and did some ironing before taking my pig nap from about 1 to 6! I got up and finished my ironing (yup, there were THAT many of MY clothes to be ironed) and accompanied mom for dinner.

Sleep and TV are my general companions during the weekend wherever I am. Last night, Su-Anne and I watched “In Her Shoes” on StarWorld and that reopened the floodgates of memories. It was a great movie and I remember watching it vividly with Motoko on November 7, 2005. We went shopping at Makinohara More where I bought my fluffy coat, and had an all you can eat lunch with Purikura after. We watched the movie together and cycled home in the dark and cold stopping by at Ministop for a フカヒレマン (Shark’s Fin “Pau”). Ah… the memories. Sniff… I miss you girl!

Another weekend reminiscing my life that I once had… well, I better put myself back in the place that I am and work hard on where I plan to be from now on. Have a good week y’all!

Smile... be someone's smile and let the smile come back

I went for dinner at Dad’s last night. Arriving late after my client visitation, I helped dad set up the table and prepare for dinner as I explained the Japanese green tea I got him. Su-Anne went straight to the TV, Ron and Yen-jie was nowhere to be seen. When dinner was ready, slowly the mentioned faces began to appear and greetings were exchanged. The joy of the evening was when Ron saw me from the next room and called out “Suemae jie-jie!”

This bundle of joy, although a brat most of the time, ran and gave me a big hug. As I picked him up, this 4 year old told me that he missed me. (Aww, isn’t that sweet?) A few words were exchanged and I placed him at his seat, showing him the gift I got him. SeanRon was so happy to have a personal pair of chopsticks fitting his little hands. He was excited and ate by himself with chopsticks that evening. Although we ended up having quite some rice on the table, Ron’s face, clothes, and the floor, Ron did a good job eating fast and without being fed. He didn’t even left the table for the computer!

Nothing makes my day better than a wide sincere smile. Knowing that I have brighten someone’s day, helped them, or lifted their spirits bring unspeakable joy to me too. Last week at TCU there were many smiles, even from the rare ones of George and Abe-san the librarian. It was great seeing them again and spending time with loved ones.

One of those smiles that warmed my heart in winter was the smile of Fujihara-Otosan. It was about the same time this year that I accompanied the Fujihara-couple to the hospital. He was diagnosed with excessive Kalium in his blood thus bringing symptoms of cancer. Although it was not malignant, chemotherapy was needed. My surprise trip to Japan last week did bring a smile to the Fujihara-family.

With little sleep from a fun-filled evening at Tokyo Disneyland the night before, I got on the trains Thursday morning to Tokyo Station. After meeting up with Fujihara-Okasan, we made our way to Tsukiji (near the Ginza area) for a scrumptious sushi lunch at one of the most famous sushi restaurants there. After our meal, we made our way to the hospital and picked Fujihara-Otosan up. He was well enough to go out for a stroll so we decided to have a nice walk at Hamarikyuu Gardens. We truly enjoyed this Japanese Imperial garden and the sights were just amazing. Lovely manicured gardens right in the middle of skyscrapers facing the docks were the fresh market is located… Simply beautiful!

After our walk, we went to Ginza for tea. We were at Fugetsudo—another favorite for sweets and dessert—and spend an hour or so there. We had tea and cakes that were fabulous. Later, Fujihara-Otosan bade his farewell and left me and Fujihara-Okasan to shop at Ginza. Knowing that Ginza is the high fashion street of Tokyo, we stuck to shopping at Uniqlo. Nonetheless, I have to admit that Uniqlo at Ginza was super cool, very different from the one at CNT. They had very nice clothes to accessories (which I can’t seem to located the cute hair band I was using last Sunday, sigh!). I was presented a few pieces of clothing and thanked the Fujiharas for a wonderful day.

Things always work out for the pleasant and nice when I least expected it. It is not because I seek for any benefits in making someone smile or to be rewarded for being nice to them. Somehow, I think it is grace that my encounter(s) in Japan has showed me the love that I have never imagined. Now, I am made aware that there are nice and good people out there. By this, I do make it a point to share anything I have making it special to others in response to the grace that was first shown to me—wherever I am, whoever I meet, and whatever I do.

An A-entry

A few of us went for ラーメンafter work last night. Well, it was ok considering the fact that I just got back from Japan. The lady boss is a Japanese, from Okinawa and the food was just nice. While giving me a ride home, we were reminiscing the lives we had in Japan. It seemed to us that no matter how crazy or busy we may be with studies and part-time jobs, we still felt a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment at the end of the day. I guess it is just that we were really on our own, standing by ourselves, soaring towards our goals.

After my trip to Japan, I was reminded that (apart from God) my closest friends are the source of my strength and sanity. We all were busy with classes and part-time jobs, but it was during the times when we hung out for meals, chilling at Doutour or Gusto, a walk in the park just catching up… these were the times of the day that I look forward to. Return back to my room, relaxing in dim lights and Jazz, having roomies or a few friends over for tea watching TV, chatting or discussing fashion magazines… yes, I truly miss all of it.

After returning to the buzz of my Malaysian life, I felt so much alive since Monday. Dragging Ben out for lunch Monday to share my adventure in Japan was fun. He has never ever seen me so happy for a long time. He text me Tuesday evening inviting me for dinner but I got him to come over to have dinner with Karl and I instead. Mom and Su-Anne were out and I had to cook anyways. The evening was great with fun conversations over the table (like in the 食堂!) having fired chicken garnished with cabbage and cucumber and filling our tummies with bread and the left-over meat sauce I made for spaghetti the night before. Ben and I cleaned up and moved to the sitting room for dragon-fruit juice. (Oh, you have to ask me about that drink. Hehehe…) We had the best of times just hanging out and Ben played the piano. Well, I knew Ben plays but it was my first time ever hearing him play and man! He is good. He played a few pieces and I sang “The Holy City” and “キリストの愛我を迫れば” bringing back the nicest times at TCU. I thought it was cool that both of us found out something new about each after that evening, even after being pals for close to 10 years.

And not to forget, the other guy who brightens up my tiring week is Gabriel! Yup, he has started work in a computer company at the office building just behind mine. Laughs! Now Ben, Gabriel and I, friends from high school are working in the same area! Gabriel and I had lunch at O’Brien’s and caught up. I have to admit; it has been a long while since I did get to sit down with him to talk. It was fun and it was just like the good old days but we are clad in our work clothes now. Gabriel reminded me that I would always be Suemae in their eyes. The image of me being a brother in a skirt just never left him. Yes, these are the guys who will never be able to treat me like a girl, what more, a lady.

All my friends are dear to me—whoever they are, wherever they come from. I have to admit that catching up with them help me pinpoint who I am today. I am defined through the meetings and acquaintances I have with these guys from my childhood past, crazy teenage years, and life in Japan. I love them so much… I wonder whether they know?

A salute to you—my brothers, my friends, my source of sanity!

A burst of life!

Bah! I am swamped at work. I can’t complain much as it is the aftermath of a week’s leave from JAC. As busy as I am and dread to face the pile of work, I think that it is important to write down the happenings of the past week to re-live the moments that will bring smiles and push me on till I meet my darlings again.

This was my trip to Japan (January 28-February 4)

Mom dropped me off at the LRT station on her way to church on Sunday and I made my way to the airport through KL Sentral. I was really busy all these while at work—having to assist Miss Lim as she is off on her maternity leave adding to my own work pile—that I really didn’t feel the excitement of going to Japan. All I felt when I landed in Narita was that I am home. After battling the long queue at immigration, (I do not have the privilege of being a registered alien any more) I thought they lost my bags!

Nonetheless, even the long wait for the train did not damped my mood as I made my way to the Fujihara-family home to be welcomed by the familiar face of Fujihara-Okasan, Ai, and Shuhei. I had a great dinner of Sukiyaki with heated conversations to catch up. I spend a good time on the massage chair and soaked in the Ofuro before calling it a night. Ooh! I can’t wait to get back to TCU!

Monday, January 29.

I woke up and it just feels so right. It is like the past 5 months was just a nightmare and I am brought back to life. I slowly prepared myself, had a good breakfast and accompanied Fujihara-Okasan to view the Ai’s entrance exam results at Makuhari. (Well, finally I experience the whole Japanese idea of an entrance exam… intriguing!) After that, I got a lift back to TCU and that was where all the excitement began.

No one knew that I would be in TCU (except Okasan, of course). The surprise and excitement of my coming was carefully planned and you should seriously ask me in person what happened. Nonetheless I arrived in TCU, hid my stuff at the chapel, and hung out at the administrative office hoping that Sunil and Matthew would come (but they didn’t).

I made my way to chapel and was happy to see Eugene and Sang there. I heard from Okasan that it will be their Graduation Chapel and was glad that I could be there for Eugene on behalf of Rajiv as none of us will be there for his graduation. Although I bumped into a few familiar faces (who were all surprised) they were kind enough to not break the news. I managed to talk Osakabe to let me do interpretation for the day and hid in the back room reading the scripts of Sang and Eugene.

As chapel was going on, the ACTS-es students who were still using the ear-pieces started to get excited about the familiar voice and started to speculate the possibility of me being there. A rumor was soon started that I was on campus. (Sorry, Eugene and Sang… I did not mean to steal your thunder.) Sunil wanted to seek me out at the back but due to the distraction it may cause, he ran back to the dorms to get Matthew.

At the end of Chapel, Ito-sensei announced my presence, blowing my cover but I was greeted by loud gasps and familiar smiles. Hugs went around and I was overwhelmed to see everyone, especially Okasan and my favorite guys.

The experience was just phenomenal.

Instead of grabbing lunch at the Shokudo, Matthew, Sunil, Eugene and I decided to grab a bite at good ol’ Gusto near the station. On our way back to the dorms, we bumped into Hawaji-imam, tall as ever. He picked me up in excitement (ooh... I am afraid of heights) and we went for lunch.

It was great just catching up at Gusto. We even went to Jusco to get some groceries, as Matthew was to bake a cake for a party that evening. We made it back to campus on time and I attended a lesson of Japanese with Okasan. Ah! The good old days!

For dinner we had a party at Barnabas Hall and the sights, smells, and taste of ACTS-es party was just nice. What made my evening was to see George smiling ear to ear when he saw me. I met Megu-chan, Yukari, and a few girls on my way from the academic building and they were creaming at me like they saw a pop star. Oh, how cute.

My Monday was wrapped up perfectly with ramen at the shack behind TCU with Matthew and Sunil. The bike ride there was just enjoyable. We talked about everything and the boys made me laugh so much so hard. It is good to see them again.

There is so much to cover about my week in Japan but I have to get back to work now. Yup… better get some work done. I hope to write more during my lunch break tomorrow. At the mean time, just reliving last Monday is able to get me through this crazy day at work.

… I WANNA BE IN JAPAN!!!